ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
