Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
