can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
