just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
