She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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