Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
