My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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