We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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