I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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