You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
