I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize