Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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