i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
