So gin and wine won't be happening again
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
