we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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