I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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