I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
