I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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