How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
