There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
