I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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