We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
