maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
