I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
