She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am available for nakedness
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
