i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize