Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
