I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize