I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The power of my boobs compel you
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
