we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
