I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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