just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
