wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
