I don't think brook has ever known best
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
