I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
