No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
