just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
