Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
