I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
