You're a womanizer and a bitch.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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