My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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