I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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