Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
