My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize