he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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