She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
