My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I could make wine with my vomit
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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