To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
