JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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