I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
