I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
