i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
