i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
honey bunches of taint.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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