Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Do you remember whose house we're in?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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