Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
