My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
