There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
