I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize