its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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