is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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