you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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