Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
