You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
