are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
