watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
