god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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