I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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