That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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