we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Randomize
