oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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