Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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