I am puke
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
