Kiss
Puke
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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