shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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