You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
