Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
