margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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