What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
