she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
