sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
