I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
