It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
