thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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