Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
