Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
