Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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