Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
