i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
When are your genitals available?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
